The Real Me...

Hey everyone! I must admit that I am really excited about this weeks blog topic. I'm not going to lie, I thought it would be really easy at first, but the more I thought about it, I became absolutely terrified! Who am I? Who is the real me? I immediately found myself falling right back into those same self-doubt filled emotions. I'm not anyone special, I'm just some plain old girl that's not really good for anything. So I gave myself a swift kick in the rear and picked up those broken pieces and put them back into my personal little puzzle.

So Who am I exactly?

Well, I guess we can start on the surface and dig down as we go. I'm Kira. I am what some would call an extreme example of the stereotypical female. My favorite color is pink, I like sparkly things, puppies, and getting my nails done. It is impossible for me to make it from point A to point B without getting lost, as a matter of fact I'm not exactly sure how people ever drove anywhere before the GPS was invented. I have an undeniable type A personality, which basically means I'm ambitious, I usually take on more than I can handle, I'm proactive, and I can be considered a workaholic (good thing I love my job). It also means that I am sometimes impatient, overly sensitive to the silliest things, and highly competitive. (Hey, we all have our downfalls right?) I have outrageous organizational skills and attention to detail. Bad grammar makes me feel like I'm bleeding from my ears and has the ability to make me irrationally irritated. I'm nearly a 100% extrovert, meaning I'm not shy in the least bit. I love meeting new people and making new friends.

I love my job, I'm a respiratory therapist, I work in a critical care setting (ICU) which means I take care of patients (and their families) when things are looking the worst. I love helping people heal and see them get back to their normal lives. As part of my job, I'm the one responsible for "pulling the plug", it's something that I struggle with daily, it's never easy and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't take an emotional toll on me. I often struggle with the feeling that I'm not doing the right thing or that I could have done more. As you could imagine this part is also hardest for the families. To provide comfort for them while single handedly removing their loved one from the only thing keeping them alive is stressful and emotionally exhausting. I experience joy and pain on every single shift. I feel what they feel, and I do my best to offer as much comfort and help as I possibly can, I only pray that it is enough. 

I volunteer my time every year to a children's summer camp for kids suffering from asthma and other pulmonary issues. I lead an educational group, help kids discover their triggers and monitor their symptoms. It's so rewarding to see them come back year after year, having fun, learning, growing into young men and women. Of course it does not hurt my feelings to spend the week at an amazing christian camp and conference center. :)

My strengths... well, they are also sometimes my weaknesses. I have a strong attention to detail, which sometimes means that I over analyze even the smallest things. I'm a critical thinker, but sometimes tend to over think and complicate even the simplest of tasks. I have a great ear, I listen well and I'm the usual outlet for the fears and thoughts of my family and friends. I usually offer great advise, although I rarely follow it myself. I have the ability to see both sides of an argument, it sometimes gets frustrating when it comes down to 'picking a side' during debates and arguments, because I normally see right and wrong in both instances.

I am strong and fiercely independent. I am a sister, a daughter, a friend, a counselor, a teacher, a healer, and I am a child of God.

Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the spirit. -Romans 1:8

Unpacking Romans 8:1

Condemnation: Accusation, Denunciation, Disapproval, Judgement. 

Therefore now no condemnation: Our sin, the cause of our condemnation, is REMOVED. Christ bore the condemnation for our sins HIMSELF. 

According to the flesh: Corruption of nature/ corruption of man. Persist in a continued pattern of sinning.

According to the spirit:  Holy spirit of God. Enter a spirit of grace, MAKE GOD OUR GUIDE! Follow God's influences, dictates, and directions. 

Who I Am...

"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity" -Dr. Neil T Anderson.

     Let's face it... We have ALL struggled with doubt, insecurity, that nagging in the back of our minds that constantly tells us we are not good enough. I've often asked myself questions like "Why and I not good enough?", "What's wrong with me?", "Why am I such a failure?". We are told in 2 Corinthians 10:12 that those who "measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves" are not wise.

     
     It's so easy to fall into the same patterns of condemning ourselves and comparing ourselves, that we have convinced ourselves that if we were richer, prettier, smarter, etc... That if all these were true we would be content, happy, that we would finally be good enough. God does not want us to say these things to ourselves. We are told in Isaiah 62:3 that we are "a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of God." We do however, have the enemy of Satan knocking at our door wanting us to fall back into the self-doubt shadow. Satan is the father of lies; there is no truth in him (John 8:44).

If we have put our trust in Christ as Savior, we can stand on the promises of who we are in Him - Chosen, Holy, and Dearly Loved.

Who Am I In Christ?

I am accepted.
I am God's child. (John 1:12)
I am a friend of Jesus Christ. (John 15:15)
I have been justified. (Rom. 5:1)
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with him in spirit. (1 Cor. 6:17)
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. (1 Cor. 6:19-20)
I am a member of Christ's body. (1 Cor. 12:27)
I have been chosen by God and adopted as his child. (Eph. 1:3-8)
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. (Heb 4:14-16)


I am secure.
I am free from condemnation. (Rom. 8:1-2)
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. (Rom. 8:28)
I cannot be seperated from God's love. (Rom. 8:31-39)
I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God. (2 Cor. 1:21-22)
I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me. (Phi. 1:6)
I am a citizen of heaven. (Phi. 3:20)
I am hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:1-4)
I have been given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7)
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)


I am significant.
I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of his life. (John 15:5)
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. (John 15:16)
I am God's temple. (1 Cor. 3:16) I am a minister of reconciliation for God. (2 Cor. 5:17-21)
I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. (Eph. 2:6)
I am God's workmanship. (Eph. 2:10)
I may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Eph. 3:12)
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. (Phi. 4:13)


     When doubt comes against me, saying I'm not good enough, I will rely on the truth that God is for me! He says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and I am one of them. (Psalm 139:14)

     So who am I? I am beautiful and I am a masterpiece. I am royalty. I am strong and courageous. I am precious. I am a conqueror. I... I am a CHILD OF GOD.

Changing My Perspective...

“Why are you frightened?” he asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt?"  Luke 24:38

     Sometimes it's hard to view ourselves the way that God sees us. The pain from our past regrets, fears, and doubts are holding us back and preventing us from moving forward. They are keeping us in the shadows, not allowing us to move forward and turn towards the light. I cannot tell you how many times the shame and regret from my past have crept up into my every day life and planted that little seed of doubt that grew into a full grown tree of fear. 

      Last week I talked about the verbal, emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse i endured throughout my past. It was hard to make that initial step forward. To move myself from the shadow looming over me, turn myself back towards the light, and take the first step to move forward. I look back and it is still hard to believe the amount of strength it took me to make those steps. To leave my job, my home, pack up, and make that 3,000 mile journey back home.

      When I made that decision to move forward, to regain control of my life, I gained a whole new perspective on the person I am. I realized that every speed bump I've hit along the way has made me the person I am today. I could never have imagined the strong, beautiful, independent woman I see today.  I am and OVERCOMER.

You're an overcomer

Stay in the fight ‘til the final round

You're not going under

‘Cause God is holding you right now

You might be down for a moment

Feeling like it's hopeless

That's when He reminds You

That you're an overcomer

You're an overcomer

 

 

When/Then...

"Our hearts leak and will always end up empty when we find our worth in anything but who we are in Christ." 

 

     This statement from 'A Confident Heart' by Renee Swope really spoke to my heart this week. It really opened up my eyes and I realized that I try to fill my empty spaces with things that I feel with make me feel fulfilled, valued, important, and needed. In my early 20's I hit a rough patch in my life. I left a job I loved, I moved across the country away from my family, and I sacrificed all of who I was for the guy that I had been seeing for a few years. Looking back now I can see how foolish I was. I had myself convinced that I needed this relationship in order to be complete. That others would look at me as a complete person as long as I had a nice home and a 'caring' fiance. Everything was shiny and perfect from the outside, and I often fell into that trap of "I'm Fine" while on the inside I was F.I.N.E. (Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted). No one could see that I was working 80 to 90 hours a week to keep our condo and cars, that I was starving myself physically and spiritually to be 'attractive', and enduring an endless barrage of insults and injuries day in and day out by someone who 'loved' me, who 'completed' me. You can only be told how ugly and worthless you are before you start to believe exactly that. In addition to the verbal and physical abuse, I began to suffer spiritually. How could God love me if I'm worthless?  I took a little longer than I care to admit, but one day I quit my job, I packed up my car, and I made that 3,000 mile journey right back home. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life, but I could never explain in words how happy I am I did it. I have an amazing relationship with God, I have a great career, I have a wonderful family, and an amazing boyfriend. 

I stand here today a strong, beautiful, fiercely independent woman of God. 

 

• When I feel weak, I will stand up. Then I will thank God that his grace is sufficient for me, and that his power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cr. 12:9) 

• When I feel like I am nothing special, I will look to God. Then he will remind me that I am a masterpiece, and that he has created me to do good things. (Eph 2:10) 

• When I feel that my situation is impossible, and I don't have the strength to change it, I will call on Gods help. Then I will remember that with God, all things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

• When I feel overwhelmed, I will take a deep breath. Then God will give me perfect peace and confidence. (John 16:33) 

• When I feel unattractive, I will stop. Then I will remember that I am beautiful and that God is enthralled by my beauty. (Psalm 45:11) 

• When I feel like I am not strong enough, I will go on. Then I will know that God is the strength of my heart forever. (Psalm 73:26)  

• When I feel worthless, I will stop, look in the mirror, and pray. Then I will see that I am precious and loved by God. (Isaiah 43:4)  

 On Your promise, I will stand. All other ground is sinking sand. When I feel like giving up, when my heart is hurt too much, feels like I've reached the end, I won't turn and run. I'll Stand! Stand! Stand! 

 

 

 Verse Map: Psalm 36:7

How priceless is Your love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. 

 

I Believe...

In my on-going struggle with self-doubt and insecurities, I find it hard to refute these feelings and feel my own self worth as God does. I know many women struggle with the same insecurities that I do, and I know deep down that we are all strong, beautiful, successful women. I discovered that through Gods perfect love, I can push these doubts and insecurities right out the window. I can live with out the doubt, the fear, the worry, and all the anxiety and sadness that comes with it. 

When I started this journey and I really started to research and find out what God's perfect love was all about, I was really surprised at how much he wants us to be confident and not carry around all of this doubt. He wants us to be strong and courageous. He does not want us to be frightened or dismayed, because he is with us every step of the way (Joshua 1:9). He does not want us to throw away our confidence because it has a great reward (Hebrews 10:35). I know this to be true because God gave me a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self control (2 Timothy 1:7). 

The insecurities I struggle with eat at my heart, it spreads and settles over me like a dark cloud. I know that God has a perfect plan and He will walk me through these difficult times. When I feel these feelings creeping up and trying to take over I just need to remind myself of the simple truths God tells me. 

I believe... 

I believe in God's perfect love. 
I believe that God will be with me every step of my journey. 
I believe that God's strength will help me through every situation.  
I believe that God will direct my steps, be my strength, and supply all I need. 
I believe that I am a masterpiece and that I am beautiful. 
I believe that I have a purpose for my life, I am a conqueror, and that my destiny is victory. 
I believe that God's love is perfect.

 

Excited Newbie

Good Morning Ladies!! I am so excited to be here with you this morning. This is my first ever P31OBS as well as my first ever blog. I decided to join the P31OBS simply because I work nights and it makes it very difficult to meet up with my church family on any type of a consistent basis. So please bear with me as I adapt and learn this whole blog thing, I cannot wait to start this new adventure!