Changing My Perspective...

“Why are you frightened?” he asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt?"  Luke 24:38

     Sometimes it's hard to view ourselves the way that God sees us. The pain from our past regrets, fears, and doubts are holding us back and preventing us from moving forward. They are keeping us in the shadows, not allowing us to move forward and turn towards the light. I cannot tell you how many times the shame and regret from my past have crept up into my every day life and planted that little seed of doubt that grew into a full grown tree of fear. 

      Last week I talked about the verbal, emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse i endured throughout my past. It was hard to make that initial step forward. To move myself from the shadow looming over me, turn myself back towards the light, and take the first step to move forward. I look back and it is still hard to believe the amount of strength it took me to make those steps. To leave my job, my home, pack up, and make that 3,000 mile journey back home.

      When I made that decision to move forward, to regain control of my life, I gained a whole new perspective on the person I am. I realized that every speed bump I've hit along the way has made me the person I am today. I could never have imagined the strong, beautiful, independent woman I see today.  I am and OVERCOMER.

You're an overcomer

Stay in the fight ‘til the final round

You're not going under

‘Cause God is holding you right now

You might be down for a moment

Feeling like it's hopeless

That's when He reminds You

That you're an overcomer

You're an overcomer

 

 

When/Then...

"Our hearts leak and will always end up empty when we find our worth in anything but who we are in Christ." 

 

     This statement from 'A Confident Heart' by Renee Swope really spoke to my heart this week. It really opened up my eyes and I realized that I try to fill my empty spaces with things that I feel with make me feel fulfilled, valued, important, and needed. In my early 20's I hit a rough patch in my life. I left a job I loved, I moved across the country away from my family, and I sacrificed all of who I was for the guy that I had been seeing for a few years. Looking back now I can see how foolish I was. I had myself convinced that I needed this relationship in order to be complete. That others would look at me as a complete person as long as I had a nice home and a 'caring' fiance. Everything was shiny and perfect from the outside, and I often fell into that trap of "I'm Fine" while on the inside I was F.I.N.E. (Frazzled, Irritated, Neurotic, and Exhausted). No one could see that I was working 80 to 90 hours a week to keep our condo and cars, that I was starving myself physically and spiritually to be 'attractive', and enduring an endless barrage of insults and injuries day in and day out by someone who 'loved' me, who 'completed' me. You can only be told how ugly and worthless you are before you start to believe exactly that. In addition to the verbal and physical abuse, I began to suffer spiritually. How could God love me if I'm worthless?  I took a little longer than I care to admit, but one day I quit my job, I packed up my car, and I made that 3,000 mile journey right back home. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life, but I could never explain in words how happy I am I did it. I have an amazing relationship with God, I have a great career, I have a wonderful family, and an amazing boyfriend. 

I stand here today a strong, beautiful, fiercely independent woman of God. 

 

• When I feel weak, I will stand up. Then I will thank God that his grace is sufficient for me, and that his power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cr. 12:9) 

• When I feel like I am nothing special, I will look to God. Then he will remind me that I am a masterpiece, and that he has created me to do good things. (Eph 2:10) 

• When I feel that my situation is impossible, and I don't have the strength to change it, I will call on Gods help. Then I will remember that with God, all things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

• When I feel overwhelmed, I will take a deep breath. Then God will give me perfect peace and confidence. (John 16:33) 

• When I feel unattractive, I will stop. Then I will remember that I am beautiful and that God is enthralled by my beauty. (Psalm 45:11) 

• When I feel like I am not strong enough, I will go on. Then I will know that God is the strength of my heart forever. (Psalm 73:26)  

• When I feel worthless, I will stop, look in the mirror, and pray. Then I will see that I am precious and loved by God. (Isaiah 43:4)  

 On Your promise, I will stand. All other ground is sinking sand. When I feel like giving up, when my heart is hurt too much, feels like I've reached the end, I won't turn and run. I'll Stand! Stand! Stand! 

 

 

 Verse Map: Psalm 36:7

How priceless is Your love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. 

 

I Believe...

In my on-going struggle with self-doubt and insecurities, I find it hard to refute these feelings and feel my own self worth as God does. I know many women struggle with the same insecurities that I do, and I know deep down that we are all strong, beautiful, successful women. I discovered that through Gods perfect love, I can push these doubts and insecurities right out the window. I can live with out the doubt, the fear, the worry, and all the anxiety and sadness that comes with it. 

When I started this journey and I really started to research and find out what God's perfect love was all about, I was really surprised at how much he wants us to be confident and not carry around all of this doubt. He wants us to be strong and courageous. He does not want us to be frightened or dismayed, because he is with us every step of the way (Joshua 1:9). He does not want us to throw away our confidence because it has a great reward (Hebrews 10:35). I know this to be true because God gave me a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self control (2 Timothy 1:7). 

The insecurities I struggle with eat at my heart, it spreads and settles over me like a dark cloud. I know that God has a perfect plan and He will walk me through these difficult times. When I feel these feelings creeping up and trying to take over I just need to remind myself of the simple truths God tells me. 

I believe... 

I believe in God's perfect love. 
I believe that God will be with me every step of my journey. 
I believe that God's strength will help me through every situation.  
I believe that God will direct my steps, be my strength, and supply all I need. 
I believe that I am a masterpiece and that I am beautiful. 
I believe that I have a purpose for my life, I am a conqueror, and that my destiny is victory. 
I believe that God's love is perfect.

 

Excited Newbie

Good Morning Ladies!! I am so excited to be here with you this morning. This is my first ever P31OBS as well as my first ever blog. I decided to join the P31OBS simply because I work nights and it makes it very difficult to meet up with my church family on any type of a consistent basis. So please bear with me as I adapt and learn this whole blog thing, I cannot wait to start this new adventure!